Living in a relationship that is abusive is dangerous. Not only is there a chance that you will suffer physical harm, there is a good chance that your are being emotionally and mentally damaged as time marches on. Many people claim that you should leave the relationship. However, this might be more difficult than they realize.
There are times when you might need to plan for the split. Of course, this isn't a good idea if the abuse has turned physical. If you think that you are going to be injured or killed, you need to leave right away. Here are some important considerations when you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship:
Consider the cost
For some individuals, the cost of leaving is prohibitive. Even in high income situations, there could be an issue with having the available funds to move to a suitable place. Unless you are in danger of being physically attacked, you may want to put money back for the time when you do leave. This can take away some of the stress that is bound to come with leaving since you know that you will have money for basic expenses.
Gather important documents
Getting important documents, such as financial records, birth certificates, and school records can help you as you get your new life started. You can make copies of these if you don't think that you can get away with keeping the originals. Some of the financial records that you gather, such as investment or retirement account statements, can help you during the divorce.
Develop a plan for safety
When you leave an abusive marriage, you need to have a plan in place for your safety. Getting a protection order can help with this, but you should also ensure that you are being as safe as you can. Make sure that someone knows where you are at all times. Get a post office box so that any documents you have sent to you are protected. You can provide that address on legal documents so that you don't have to give your ex your home address right away. Try not to go to places where you might run into your ex unless you have someone with you or will be around a lot of people.
Determine your legal steps
You know that you will need to file for divorce, but you should carefully consider each step that you will take. While mediation to work through the property division and child custody matters is usually recommended, this might not be the case when there was abuse in the relationship.